Here we are again in February — the month of love.
Do you know what your love language is? If you are familiar with Gary Chapman’s classic book, The Five Love Languages, you know what I’m talking about. He lists five ways that most people know that they are loved by others. Those ways include:
Words of affirmation
Quality time
Physical touch
Acts of service
Receiving gifts
If you know me personally, you know that my love language is words of affirmation (encouragement). You don’t have to touch me, give me stuff, bring me things or even spend time with me. Although, all of those are good things. I just want you to tell me, “Good job!” “I think you did great at _______.” Or, “I enjoy reading your Good Words every week.” (Of course, that last one is my favorite.) I always feel a little awkward saying I like to hear someone say or send nice words to me. Seems self-serving. But, that is the way I was made and being a writer, I’m ok with needing people to share affirming words with me.
"Words of affirmation" is about expressing affection through spoken words, praise, or appreciation. When this is someone's primary love language, they enjoy kind words and encouragement, uplifting quotes, love notes, and cute text messages. You can make this person's day by complimenting them or pointing out what they do well. Source: What are the five love languages?
Of course, there are other ways, or combination of these ways, that we like to receive love. Do you know yours? I referenced the Five Love Languages book in the section below if you want to dig deeper.
I have friends and family who are gifted encouragers. Three of those are former coworkers at She Is Safe. We are scattered now from Atlanta, to Germany, to Oklahoma. We get together once a month or as often as possible via video chat. At the end of our hour together, I always feel loved, prayed for and encouraged. Thank you Katy, Patricia and Lisa. I have two young women I meet with a few times a month for our church discipleship/accountability group. They keep their D-Mom grounded and encouraged. Thank you Katie and Emily. My sweet sister, Debbie, definitely has the gift of encouragement. She regularly tells me how proud she is of me and lets me know I’m loved. So encouraging. Do you have people in your life who spur you onward to be a better person and to keep you positive and supported? It doesn’t mean they don’t challenge you or help you see roadblocks in your life. But they love you through them.
There are many examples of those types of people in scripture. I think especially of Barnabas, a dear friend of the Apostle Paul. His name actually means, “son of encouragement.” (Learn more about Barnabas here: Who was Barnabas in the Bible? I listed a specific verse below concerning Barnabas. But don’t you know Paul needed a man like Barnabas to keep him uplifted while he endured prison, and physical ailments, and challenges to his authority? We all need a Barnabas in our lives. Who is yours?
In our church reading plan, we are currently reading through the Gospel of Matthew. This morning I read about the crucifixion of Jesus. Matthew lists in the 27th chapter people nearby who witnessed Jesus’ gruesome death. It says that many women who had followed Jesus cared for Him and attended to Him. Don’t you know that was a group of women who knew how to encourage Jesus?
“But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord and that the Lord had spoken to him, and how in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus.” Acts 9:27.
“So then, encourage one another and build each other up, as you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Share Your Good Words
Good Questions of the Week: What is the value of knowing your love language? How do you encourage other people?
I invite you to read more about Unseen People: Sharing Light and Life With Your Neighbors and the Nations. Click the link to read more on my website. I’ve updated it with the most recent news concerning the book.
ALSO — It is officially SIX MONTHS, on August 6th, Unseen People will be released!! Yay! You will see more in the coming months about the book, where to find it, how to share it, how to be on the launch team and much more!! Can’t wait! It’s getting real. I will produce a video each week leading up to the launch. I will share them here, on my website, YouTube, and social media sites. I will keep you posted! Here is the first one!! Let me know what you think!
Here is an example of words of encouragement that I cherish. These words were written by an unseen woman in a She Is Safe group in a remote village in Indonesia. These words were encouraging, but also humbling and confirming of the work I had done there. This poem will be in the chapter, “Women Share Their Stories,” in Unseen People. A poem of Transformation and Inspiration.
As we visited a home where her group was meeting, we sat on the floor in a big circle and enjoyed their food and deeply flavorful Sumatran coffee. To express her gratitude for our groups coming through the years, the sweet woman stood and read her poem addressed to me.
Already I wonder why you call me sister.
But I know you are American and I am Indonesian.
You are from a great city and I am from a simple village.
Too much difference.
You call me “My dear” though you don’t know me so much. You only know my name.
We meet once and I don’t understand your language.
You pray for me even though I only tell you a little.
Neither do I call you.
But why do you love me?
You call me “friend” But you don’t know me, my friend.
Even to spell my name is difficult.
It’s impossible that I come to your house. And you don’t know my language.
But why do you love me so?
I have become your sister but I know actually I am nobody.
Too much difference.
And now I know that’s all happened because of Jesus. Jesus makes us become sisters.
In Jesus we love each other. Jesus teaches us to pray for each other. And the love of Jesus is above all differences.
Good Worship Playlist: Encouraging MusicThis is a great list of 68 music videos that includes songs like, “What a Beautiful Name,” “Who You Say I Am,” “Mighty to Save,” and many more. Enjoy!
A Final Good Word
I encourage you to encourage others. It may not be easy for you to express in words to someone else what you see they are doing well. You can write a note. Send a text or email. Leave a comment.
Discover what the love language is of people near you: your spouse, your children, your small groups at church. Go out of your way in this month of love to show them love in the way they most want to receive it. I dare you. Try it this week and let me know what happens.
Loved this, DeAnna. My love language is words of affirmation as well. I love to send encouraging cards and notes to people, and it is so meaningful to me to receive the same.
Thank you for sharing about your upcoming book; the poem you shared was so powerful and touching. ❤️
You've written good words. I have the same love language, if someone says "good job," it's so much more valuable to me than any gift they could buy me.
Loved this, DeAnna. My love language is words of affirmation as well. I love to send encouraging cards and notes to people, and it is so meaningful to me to receive the same.
Thank you for sharing about your upcoming book; the poem you shared was so powerful and touching. ❤️
You've written good words. I have the same love language, if someone says "good job," it's so much more valuable to me than any gift they could buy me.